Beyond Egg Quality: Why Mental Health is the Missing Piece in Your IVF Journey

By: Elizabeth (Liz) Bancroft, Clinical & Counselling Psychologist

As both a psychologist working in the reproductive trauma space and a woman who has navigated IVF personally, I bring a unique perspective to this conversation. My professional training taught me about the science of reproduction, but my own journey through fertility treatment as a late-diagnosed autistic woman revealed truths no textbook could prepare me for.

IVF is More Than Needles and Hormones

When people talk about IVF, they tend to focus on the physical: injections, scans, egg collection. What we don’t talk about enough is the psychological warfare that comes with every cycle.

I remember sitting in my car after one particularly difficult appointment, gripping the steering wheel as tears streamed down my face. The doctor had casually mentioned my “none of your 30 eggs developed into a blastocyst”, as if commenting on the weather, while my world collapsed around me. No one had prepared me for that moment, or the hundreds of emotional hurdles that surrounded it.

The Hidden Emotional Toll

IVF isn’t just a medical treatment—it’s a full-body, full-life crisis. Every month becomes a rollercoaster of hope, grief, self-blame, and waiting. And it’s not just what happens inside the clinic—it’s how IVF infiltrates your entire life.

Some of the most common experiences I see in my clients (and lived myself) include:

• Crying in clinic car parks after confusing or dismissive appointments
• Perfectionism spirals—blaming yourself for every failed cycle
• Medical trauma triggered by invasive procedures
• Grief every month (not just for a baby, but for lost time and lost dreams)
• Isolation—because nobody really gets it unless they’ve been there

Clinics Focus on Embryos—Not Emotions

Most fertility clinics do incredible work when it comes to science. But when it comes to emotional preparation and psychological care, there’s a gaping hole.

You might get a counselling referral if you’re already falling apart—but there’s very little focus on proactive emotional preparation. That leaves most women totally unprepared for the emotional marathon ahead.

Why Psychological Support Matters (Backed by Research)

The research is clear and compelling. A 2018 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Behavioural Medicine found that women receiving psychological interventions were 65% more likely to become pregnant following IVF treatment compared to control groups.

Additional studies consistently show:

• Psychological distress can reduce treatment adherence and decision-making confidence
• High levels of stress increase the chances of dropping out of treatment by up to 30%
• Therapy and emotional skills training improve coping, resilience, and relationship health during IVF

This is not about ‘thinking positive’ to get pregnant—it’s about protecting your mental health so you can survive the process, no matter the outcome.

The Mind-Body Connection: More Than Just a Buzzword

If you’ve ever been told to ‘just relax and it will happen’—I see you rolling your eyes. Me too.

But here’s the thing: while relaxation itself won’t magically make you pregnant, unresolved chronic stress and trauma CAN impact IVF outcomes. And the science backs it up.

How Chronic Stress Affects Fertility

Your body doesn’t distinguish between an email from your boss and being chased by a lion. Both trigger the stress response system—the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis—which floods your body with cortisol and inflammation markers.

• Cortisol and inflammation interfere with the delicate balance of hormones needed for egg development and implantation
• Studies show that higher stress levels correlate with: ○ Fewer mature eggs retrieved ○ Decreased endometrial receptivity (meaning a harder time implanting an embryo) ○ Increased uterine contractility, which may disrupt implantation ○ Higher rates of IVF treatment dropout

But here’s the hopeful part: trauma work and nervous system regulation can shift this.

The Science of Trauma Therapy and IVF Outcomes

Research has shown that trauma-focused psychological interventions—like EMDR and nervous system regulation techniques—can:

• Reduce cortisol & inflammation (supporting hormonal balance)
• Shift the body out of fight-or-flight mode (allowing reproductive function to return)
• Improve emotional resilience & treatment adherence
• Decrease physiological stress responses during egg collection & implantation

This isn’t about “thinking positive.” It’s about actively working with your nervous system to create the best possible environment—physically and emotionally—for conception.

Special Considerations for Neurodivergent Women

As an autistic woman (which I didn’t realise until AFTER by son began to show symptoms), my IVF journey came with unique challenges. The sensory overload of bright exam rooms, unexpected schedule changes, and the countless unpredictable elements of fertility treatment created additional layers of stress. I just dismissed these challenges as me being “too sensitive” and “high maintenance” and I shouldn’t complain.

For neurodivergent women, IVF can be particularly overwhelming:

• Sensory sensitivities make physical examinations more difficult
• Executive functioning challenges complicate medication management
• Communication differences with medical staff can lead to misunderstandings
• Rigid thinking patterns may intensify the emotional impact of setbacks

Specialised support that acknowledges these differences is essential but rarely available in traditional fertility settings.

That’s Why I Created Hope Affirm Thrive

When I and my clients went through IVF, I quickly realised: the clinics only focus on my eggs—not my emotional survival. And yet, when I researched the mind-body impact, it was clear: psychological care isn’t optional—it’s crucial.

What Hope Affirm Thrive Offers

Hope Affirm Thrive is an online group support program that combines evidence-based psychological approaches with practical tools for navigating fertility treatment. It’s part trauma-healing, part stress-regulation, part emotional survival kit.

Who This Program Serves

The program is specifically designed for:

• Career-driven women balancing IVF, work, and life
• Neurodivergent women who need a different kind of support
• Anyone who feels like their clinic is treating them like a science project instead of a person

Take the Next Step in Your Fertility Journey

If you’re going through IVF and feel overwhelmed, you are not failing—the system is failing you. And psychological care isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’—it’s essential.

Ready to transform your fertility experience? Join our next Hope Affirm Thrive cohort starting every 2 months or book a free 15-minute consultation to see if the program is right for you.

Visit www.hopeaffirmthrive.com.au today to claim your spot, sign up to receive my free guide: “3 Key Opportunities to Optimise Your IVF/ART Journey Before It

Even Begins” or get started early by signing up to my low cost, instant access webinar “Evidence-Based Strategies to Support Your IVF/Infertility Journey”

Your whole self deserves care—not just your ovaries.